Ravelers are kind, generous people

This is all the yarn I recieved yesterday. Birthday presents for my girl! I asked for yarn on the Random Acts of Kindness board to make things for the NICU/bereavement program at the local hospital. Ravelry is the awesome!

This is going to be a dead baby post

So if you are easily depressed, I won't be too offended if you choose to skip it.

Shortly after Emersen was born, I expressed the (to me very understandable) sentiment that I wished I had died, it hurt so much. Everyone around me, panicked, rushed to reasure me that no, I was much better off alive, as if I had died, too, I would miss so much, particularly that I would miss so many things with Elspeth. Her graduation. Her wedding. Nobody realized, I think, that I had already missed all those things with Emersen, and so much more... her birth (the drugged, traumatic ten hours I got does not count), nursing her, changing her diapers, teething, everything. Parents do not realize how lucky they are to stay up all night with a screaming, colicy, teething baby. It is a gift from God, and I missed it all. Today I'm missing her second birthday, and it hurts pretty bad.

Happy birthday baby. I love you.

No job for Kim

At least not yet, and not the data analyst at SirsiDynix. BOO. On the other hand, I am learning to spin cotton, and as soon as it is warm enough to shear I will be getting my birthday present of POUNDS and POUNDS of llama fleece. Mark is such a thoughtful husband!

Waiting is hard.

I was really, REALLY hoping to get a call from Sirsidynix yesterday. Would have been the best birthday present ever, because I really, REALLY want them to hire me! I applied to be a data analyst, and it would be such a cool job... the girls would have to go to daycare, but I would make enough more that we would still be way better off, even with the additional expense. Plus I would have health insurance for the first time in a LONG time. Everybody pray, I guess... maybe they will call tomorrow!

Teeth, and I'm not allowed to watch horror movies

In news that people in addition to me care about, Wehna has finally popped out her first tooth. Lower front left. The one next to it is close too, when she screams at me for trying to look in her mouth I can see it right under the gum, just no sharp nubbing yet.

In news that I find interesting at least, I am not allowed to watch horror movies any more. Yeah, we had movie night in Byron's room and watched Silent Hill. It wasn't bad at the time, I actually rather enjoyed it, but tonight in the silence of hotel graveyard shift I could seriously not stop thinking about the horrible screaming burning things. No more horror films for me. At least not until I get a job with decent hours.

We have been invaded

Our house is now full of soft, fluffy drifts of WOOL. Sheep mostly. Also llama, and some mohair. Mohair comes from goats, and it is soft and squishy. It has primarily taken over the laundry room, where I am washing it ever so carefully in the washer. The black llama had some second cuts tho, so now there is llama hair (short bits of it, anyway) all over Byron's clothes. And the light grey wool took forever to dry, so the variagated llama had to dry on a towel in our room, where it got kicked under the rocking chair several times. Then there's the big bag of dark grey wool that I'm slowly carding out and spinning in the living room. Except my spindle wandered up into Byron's room yesterday, along with several rolags of carded wool. It may or may not still be there. I do however know that Elspeth and Wehna's spindles are lying in the middle of the dining room, where I tripped on them on the way to work.

There used to be a word for what I'm turning into, but I think "spinster" means something different now-a-days. Just wait until I figure out an excuse to drive down by Lake Powell... there's a guy down there selling raw Navaho-Churro fleece for two dollars a pound.

I am so freaking tired.

First Mark had a tickley throat. No big. Then he thought he was dying. Girls still healthy, me still healthy. Mark gets better. All is well with the world. NOW I HAVE THE SORE THROAT. It is not fair! Especially given that I got to be AWAKE for the whole part where I was getting sicker and sicker, instead of just waking up half dead, because I had to work that night. Believe me, it really, really is better to just wake up really sick. That was last night, and here I am again on the graveyard shift. And church is in three hours. And I don't get off for another hour. Yeah, I'm not sure how we're going to do this, but I am very determined to get Elspeth to Primary. Pray.